More tranny stories later!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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