Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just forgot I was standing up.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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