i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
