Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
