Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I could fuck to npr.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I want a musical about memes.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
