No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
