It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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