She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i now understand why vodka
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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