She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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