Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
