Duck Duck Cougar?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
