All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
