i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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