After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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