Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize