I've blown a few things in my day
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
