your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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