Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
