Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
