She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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