do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
