I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
