I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
