Where is the hickey?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My ATM looks so different sober.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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