google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
