yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
