oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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