i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
