she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
