He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
