i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
