I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
