I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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