how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
