Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
