i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
