tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
