I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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