I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
