Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
