I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
