Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
