Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish I only lived at night.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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