Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
