You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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