she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
