I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
