Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
