this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
