At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
