I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Your cock deserves a montage
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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