I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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