I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
