If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
