Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
