She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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