This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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