the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
