Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
